Black Friday...

We can call this day black Friday. So my life as I know it is over. I finally did what I had to do and my emotional status is at its lowest. As I sit here blogging this I can barely see the screen. My eyes are filled with tears and my heart weighing in at 500 pounds. I can't help but to think was this the right choice? Did I give up too soon? As I sift through the murky-ness I do however feel like I have a burden lifted up off me. I finally stood up for myself. You get to a point of no return when you have been lied to and had your emotions played with for a long time. How could he do this to me? Why am I not enough for him? Why did he even bother with planning a future with me when his intentions were not real? Is he too prideful to realize what he has lost or will he have the continued "oh well" attitude? How could I be soo stupid and naive? But then again...why should I hold back when my feelings are that strong for him?
I have always pictured me getting married. I could actually see the day with me standing up on that alter with the love of my life. Sadly, I never could see the face of the guy I was destined to be with....until this relationship. I truly believe that God gives us choices on who we can marry. It's not about the "ONE"...it's about if you are gonna work at it and with the one you choose. What now? What's a girl supposed to do? How does a girl deal with the fact that the love of her life doesn't think she's the love of his anymore...or never did?? How does a girl tell people that she's been chasing after someone who is chasing after someone else?

~So hurt/disappointed/pissed off/etc.~